When I was 18 years old working in a popular nightclub the owner, an older woman, told me by the time I would be her age I would be able to count the number of trust worthy people in my life on two hands. Not yet realizing how right she would be I blurted out I had dozen of friends! Today, I could count them on one and half hands. For most of us, who do we trust and why we can trust them is something we learn first-hand through the variety of relationships we encounter as we love, work and live.
The other day I gave a Tarot reading to a delightful woman who was facing her trust issues from past relationships head-on so she could rid them from her current relationship with someone she felt she could trust. During our conversation we discussed how important trust is in any style relationship and what can be apparent signs of trustworthiness in others. These are the highlights.
Trust is a valuable commodity. If you see others flinging their trust around in the forms of gossip, ideal talk and hurtful comments – Beware, you could be next!
Value and respect for self and others can be a good sign someone has what it takes to build trust with others. Responsibility and follow through are other qualities we can use to help gage another by. Be what you would like to attract. Be someone of character, integrity and loyalty which builds the firm foundation of the trust you can offer others. Trust your intuition. If the internal alarm bells are going off pay attention! So many of us can ignore this warning system because we can become doe-eyed about someone’s charms, looks, life etc. while not paying attention to their true intentions.
Actions speak louder than words. My Grandma used to say this all the time about someone who you could trust. People who truly care are attentive and are listening to what you are saying and feeling but then they take it to the next level with any action that may be required on their part. At times, you don’t know until you know. You can be in relationship or partnership with another for a bit before a major moment of untrustworthiness makes its presence fully known. A bummer when this happens but you need to make sure you have removed any rose-colored glasses and do what is right by you.
But I play fair! I had to take a few turns on the lesson wheel to learn this one. While we may want to play fair in life – not everyone responds the same. This can make us feel upset and especially vulnerable, until we realize out of this experience we are made stronger and more aware of your own integrity and sense of what is right and what is not. Sometimes we can only meet this understanding by coming close to the edge and learning where our character, ethics and morals stand.
Learn from these encounters. Put aside another’s shadiness and focus on what you need to learn from what happened. My last lesson was meant to move me in a different direction that I probably would not have seen if not for this person’s lack of trust.
Let go Let God. If you have encountered people and situations that had you questioning their trust do not let it tarnish your outlook towards trusting others again. It will be God to deal with any wrong-doing so you can move forward.
When you find someone you feel you want to trust, do not be afraid to give it your all! We can stay stuck in past hurts that relate to trust causing us to stay stagnant. We are only missing out on potential moments of wonder because we are being protective of self.
Trust is a partnership with another. We can be reluctant to share fears and insecurities with others, especially in love, but if we realize we do not lose power but gain it through the recognition of these deep set emotions by ourselves so we can share our understanding and work through them with another.
Recognize others may have trust issues as well and could be holding back in expressing their true feelings. When we get defensive, our actions can cause the same reaction in others and a bad cycle of protectiveness starts that can wear any relationship down. Be brave enough to share your trust if you feel it is right.
Without trust no relationship can grow into its true potential. Without being able to share our past, present and future honestly with another, our destiny becomes halted and secrets instead of joy become our master.