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True Love and Why We Punish Ourselves When it Ends.

October 4, 2015

True love can have different ideals for different people. And as varied as the ideals are reasons we may need to depart from someone we view as our true love. If you have lost a loved one in the true sense of their departing from our physical existence, there is no reason to punish yourself or not let your life move forward in the way you see fit. But, if you or your true love is calling it quits and moving in different directions, then I would have to wonder if that was your true, true love? And if that is the case, any punishment, quilt, sorrow, even fear and insecurity would be completely useless energies to exert in your healing process so you can move forward with joy in your heart.

Who hasn’t bemoaned the fact the one they thought they truly loved turned out not to be the person they thought worthy of these feelings. And the guilt and the self-punishment we can apply to berate ourselves. Was it something I did not see? Was it something I did? What was it? Just know that sometimes it is beyond your control and this person does not fit the true definition of what our true love is in God’s eyes. God wants us to feel empowered, valued and respected from ourselves and especially from those we
let enter into our life. How else can we love another unconditionally in the truest sense of true love?

One of the divine dilemmas of being intelligent, feeling individuals is our ability to make decisions. At various points of maturity in our lives, we may make choices based on pure attraction and animal instinct or experience may have taught us other characteristics and insights need to come into our decision making. In the Tarot deck there are several cards that ask us to take an honest assessment of our true feelings and those of another – and they teach us value and respect are at the core of our truest loves.

This encounter in many ways is described in the Tarot card of the Four of Cups. Fours refer to benefit and in regards to the Cups you receive the benefit of a review of the relationship. Cups can cover any area where our heart touches; lovers, family, friends, even business and our work. The journey of the Cups begins with an upsurge of emotional energy and desire to connect, on to feeling in-love and then we celebrate the start of relationship and now, we arrive at a true evaluation of your love. This is an interesting place for some because it requires an honest, hard look of the good and the bad – to weigh out your next move.

So many of us have stood at this cross-road and it is often here where we realize we should move forward from the starry-eyed thoughts of our ideal of true love. People are human. They lie, they cheat, and all sorts of things that do not value and respect us. This is part of learning what true love really is. I have learned through many Tarot readings that encounter this card, if there is something gnawing at your internal meter of doubt and discontent – this is the time to bring the issues out to yourself.  If we do not acknowledge these thoughts to ourselves, they will only dig-in deeper and drive up our suspicion and feelings of betrayal.
If you have conducted this exercise be proud and strong in your decision, not weak and punishing. We also cannot move completely forward in love if we are deceiving and undervaluing ourselves.

You need to listen to your heart and be open to the new possibilities God is trying to help you realize. That it is why it is important to focus on what is truly – and that is the key word: truly – best for you. By reconnecting with your confidence within – you will be making your choices with a balanced head and heart away from fear and punishing thoughts!

Cups are the Suit of love, heart and spirit in Tarot and how we can reach an emotional maturity through the encounters we have experienced journeying through the Suit of Cups. What is so beautiful about the energy giving Suit of Cups, no matter what our age we can feel a new desire to connect our heart with another.

The deeper meaning of this quest is to find in another someone we can fully give our spirit and soul to; where we can weather the storms and enjoy the happy moments too. When we truly feel this in another we connect with the part of us that is capable of giving and receiving unconditional love. If we have gone through emotional pain or betrayal, this can leave us filtering our true feelings with ourselves and others.
We can also conjure up negative thoughts from taking the chance on love again because of our tempered past but that is another beauty of the lesson of the Suit of Cups, when we truly love, value and respect ourselves and others we get a chance to forget all that and move forward with a youthful, I want to engage love mode!

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