Taking Control

May 17, 2016

Taking Control Of Your Life

We are always growing and changing, and during this process, each of us must strive for a renewed self- knowledge. I believe that being a strong, independent person means to be able to find happiness on your own. It means having the self-confidence without having to rely on another person or society for validation. Being in control of your own life has a lot to do with achieving emotional independence and being able to have healthy relationships with yourself and others. By going through the process of self knowledge, you’ll have the tools to be prepared to go through the process to find your purpose and define your future.

We can’t expect others to validate us all the time. We need to learn to listen to our own desires, and to trust our own opinions, and in order to do that, we need to learn to express who we are at our core. When we trust someone else to show us the right path in life, we are not taking responsibility for our own actions, we are actually disempowering ourselves. We can’t expect others to respect us for who we are when we are not being true to ourselves. Being able to follow our instincts and making an effort to accept the person we are while continuing to grow and evolve, can help us to discover the person we were meant to be.

When we lose motivation, we fail to see the bright side in every situation, and keeping ourselves motivated is a daily challenge. Taking time for ourselves allow us to renew, heal, and create reserves of energy and peace that can keep us motivated and focused. Sometimes, we become so involved in giving to others that we fail to give to ourselves, and only with self knowledge and we become able to take control of our lives and know which challenges or goals to pursue. Work on improving your self talk, on favouring reason over negative emotions, and remember that you are responsible for your own development and fortune. If you want to be independent, start with figuring out what you want from life. Write it down, and every day take a small step towards that goal.

When I was young and inexperienced, I just naturally assume that by the time I get a little older I would figure out how to be myself. As time passed, I realised that being true to my inner essence takes work and dedication, and it doesn’t mean I have to stick out in a crowd. Being true to my values means having convictions and not being afraid to accept my flaws, and ideas to the world. Its about feeling good about who I am. It’s not always easy to be in control of our lives, especially if we often find ourselves lost, confused and stressed. It is a process that start with changing your perspective, aiming to be positive, and blocking negative thinking. You have to start thinking about the best thing that can happen to you instead of always expecting the worst. Positive thinking gives you the power to be in control of your emotions in order to listen to your intuition. Sometimes, the expectations of those around us are a strong influence on our identity, and we adapt ourselves to fit others expectations. When I decided to take control of my life, I realised that many of the choices I thought I have made in life in the past, were probably the result of the expectations of those whose approval I craved. I understood that in order to be independent, I had to work on being a confident person, and focus on finding things in my life to be grateful for, on my strengths, and working on asserting myself, while being positive and hopeful. I also learned that exploring my creative faculties can open up new ideas and can make me feel more aware of new possibilities.

Building our confidence up doesn’t happen overnight, so it is important to make a conscious decision to take steps to work toward loving and accepting ourselves every single day. Just let go of expectations of how your life should be and acknowledge your abilities, without asking for outside validation. Learn to live in the moment and remember that being able to control your emotions is key to your happiness, as well as your relationships. When you truly love and accept yourself, you are able to accept the outside world, and embrace positive changes. When you have a good relationship with yourself the end result is true joy. Keep in mind that is never too late to be in control of your own life! We tend to evolve and grow under the most challenging circumstances. “The secret of changing is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but building the new.”

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