Self Harming.

October 15, 2020

People are born for joy and happiness. We all want to be happy and live full interesting and meaningful life. It is difficult to object that we are capable of expressing our full potential when we are happy, content, and calm. However, the world does not seem to let us, fogging the currents of our inspiring intentions with the disturbing and annoying obstacles and hardships. Most unpleasant conflicts occur when we are tired, worried, or full of negative expectations which make us treat the world with suspicion and distrust turning the desire to live into a desperate desire to hide and conceal your heart erecting the “people proff” reliable protection.
And this is the point when self-destruction begins. It has the variety of revelations for different personalities: submitting to bad habits, like drinking, smoking, to the constant passiveness when you don’t want to do anything with your life, when you give up trying to improve the environment and yourself. This apathy, lack of interest and excitement the modern psychology calls depressive syndrome, which in reality is even more dangerous than cancer. A slow yet certain death of emotions, mind and body starts up once you obey the inner destructive drive that comes from nowhere. Nevertheless, the heart of the problem is a capricious, angry, silly wish just to stop. Stop doing, trying, fighting, giving… It is often a paradoxical intention to destroy the already fine construction just at one angry motion, like the child ruins his carefully erased sand castle with just one step, or the irritated housewife breaks a precious dish in one moment, even though she had been washing it thousand times before. Finally, this depressive state overwhelms the person so much that the false feeling of contentment may dim person’s perception and views.
Of course, the first step to defeat this self-harming is to realize it which, as usually with the internal issues, suggests a deep introspection and critical thinking skills. It is so uncomfortable to realize the senseless or potential danger of already familiar way of life. Any frank talk with a faithful friend, close relative or partner, family member who does understand, feel and empathizes with you, will become a mirror for you. In their words and analysis you will see the truth, no matter how unpleasant the reflection can be. If there is no one you feel trustful enough, refer to the unknown specialists, consultations and other practices to receive the new and valuable information about yourself. Finally, if you are a true hermit and used to solve any issues by yourself, make a Tarot cards your companion, a great tool for self-reflection and retrospection. The Major Arcana provide with the main stages of development common for all, and, most important, grant hope for better, promising recovering, progress and fullfilment after the dark periods in life.
The following step is to think about the new insights you might receive and head for self-creation as an opposite to self-harm. Imagine yourself a sculptor and look upon your life with a critical eye. What is needed to pull it up to the standard you dream of? What to reduce and what to increase? What to add and what to remove? Improving your life is not as simple as just do yoga for hours, or write the thousands of positive affirmations, following the modern trends and new age fashion. It is an art of balance, dynamic cooperation of the variety of actions, it is a path of successes, failures, attempts, challenges, strategies, reflections; it is a mysterious alchemical process which should be crowned with the creation of new You.
It is evident that loving yourself is the saving formula to prevent and avoid self-destruction. Unfortunately, many understand it as indulgence to the weaknesses, compromise with the conscientiousness, and following the momentary wishes. Laziness is an inventive and insidious enemy, and should be targeted firstly. Unlike relaxation, a temporal halt in hectic life, laziness, as “doing nothing”, drags you into “nothingness”; and this has no future, dims the past, and devalues present.
There is another aspect of our self-harming. Our environment might not be that indifferent as we may think, and our words and actions can be of importance for them too. Demetre, the great benevolent mother Goddess, the primary source of every bounty of the earth, the nurtures of the world, stopped when being in grief in her desperate search for her kidnapped daughter. She just stopped locking herself in indeed fair and natural offense which she felt towards the gods who allowed such brutal crime. Her protest had an effect and led to the agreement, however, the time when nature stopped feeding and nurturing, appeared a disastrous period for all living creatures.
During our “stop” we have to remember, that others might suffer too. Sometimes things we haven’t done are the most important in our lives, and the effects they could have had on the others, even not that close people, could become the turning points in their live. We never know, but we must remember that we do have a weigh, even for the smallest number of people. It doesn’t matter, if your community is the millions crowd if you are a Hollywood star, or few inhabitants of the old several apartments building, there are always youngsters who watch you and make their own decisions.

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