When we have a negative view of the person we are and our abilities, our beliefs about ourselves are often very poor, and we have low self-esteem. Sometimes people with low self esteem experienced a very difficult childhood, having to deal with bullying, difficult family relationships, or having a hard time at school. But, even in our adult life, going through difficult situations over a short period of time, experiencing trauma, abuse or bullying, being under a lot of stress, or suffering discrimination for some reason, can also affect our self-steem negatively.
When our self-esteem is low, we tend to isolate ourselves and feel lonely. We focus on our weaknesses or past mistakes, and we find it hard to recognise the positive parts of our personality. We tend to blame ourselves for anything that goes wrong. We begin to hide ourselves away from social situations, stoping trying new things and avoiding things we find challenging. There is an inner critic inside of all of us, and this inner critic can feed into our low self-esteem, making us be negative about ourselves and feel like we have little worth. That’s why is important to practice being less hard on ourselves when we make a mistake, and also be open to accept and love ourselves more. Remember that when we have learned and grown from your mistakes, failure doesn’t exist.
In order to have a good self-esteem, you need to know what you think, feel and want. High self-esteem indicates that you love and accept yourself for the way you are. Acknowledging and recognising the things you are good at, is important in order to boost your mood, and build a healthy relationship with yourself; doing this will lead you to make decisions that support your intentions. Changing your atitude, changes what happens to you. When you don’t look for concrete ways for achieving your dreams and goals, you end up feeling unhappy and dissatisfied with your choices.
You may also have low self-esteem because you find it difficult to live up to other people’s expectations of you, or to your own expectations. There is no other person in this world like you, you are unique and very special. Constantly remind yourself that you deserve to be loved, not only by those around you, but by yourself too. Be compassionate to yourself. Remember that the people we surround ourselves with can have an overwhelming impact on our wellbeing and self-esteem. Encourage negative people to learn ways of being positive, but if you feel that their toxic views are affecting your self-steem, stay away. Avoid any kind of negativity and constantly comparing yourself to others.
Changing our attitude starts with setting limits or saying no anything that harms us physically, emotionally and spiritually. When we have low self-esteem, we often feel that we have to say yes to other people, even when we don’t really want to. It may drive us to constantly and negatively compare ourselves to other people. Choose to practice gratitude for every single blessing in your life, and surround yourself with reminders of all of your accomplishments. Allow others to tell you just how amazing you are, and start living your life to the full. Remember say positive affirmations each day, and keep in mind that during stressful times, it can be easy to lose control of your emotions, but with self confidence, you can regain control of your life.
Your self-esteem needs to emerge subtly, not as a sudden result of external compliments, so be patient, and learn to recognise small signs of progress towards self love. Remember to be aware of your body and identify your feelings and needs. When we do not respect our feelings, we are left to rely on what others think, want and believe. As your self esteem rises to a healthy level, you’ll focus on finding the balance between a new way of thinking, and self respect. It is important to consciously remind yourself that you need to be true to your values. Improving your self esteem increases your confidence, and is the first step towards finding happiness and a better life.