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New Year Resolutions

January 16, 2015

Ok….here’s the thing…….

We are now half way through January, the weather is cold and miserable, and quite frankly there is nothing to look forward to,  this month. No Christmas parties to attend and no chance of getting “dolled up” to the nines. No trees with their twinkling, glittery lights  to cheer up our homes.  No excited children as they jump up and down telling you what they hope Santa will bring them this year, because they have been extra good. And no luxurious food and drink for the adults to over- indulge on……..

So, come New Year’s Eve, we adults have had enough champers , chocolate and turkey, thank you very much, that we resolve to never let anything remotely tasty past our lips for the next year. And that’s that. Resolution made. No more chocolate  ( oh, really?!!). No booze for January, “ I’m signing up for the dryathlon, don’t you know?! “I’m going to join the gym, and train for a marathon……”

So, it’s midnight:  We have told all and sundry at the party, in a slurred voice and  shared it on our Facebook accounts via  Instagram , of  our “last ever” glass of wine.  “My body is a temple, and I’m going to look after it next year”.

Great!  Fan-tas-tic ! Excellent!  Brilliant!

 

All very well and good until we realise that after the first week back to work, we find that on a Friday evening, there’s no wine or chocolate in the house because you have “banned” it, and besides, you’re going to spin class the next morning at 7 am…..Can’t wait. Not.

 

Why?! Why do it to ourselves?!  We know we won’t stick to those type of Resolutions! How do we know…….?!

Because we make the same ones every year, and every we have broken them by the first week of January!

Time to call a halt to this with immediate effect!

Instead, make more meaningful  resolutions  which you know you will stick to, and stop beating yourself up over having that glass of wine, or that bar of chocolate.

Here’s what I mean:

 

For me, the month of December is not just about parties , it is about reflecting back over the year, and asking myself: “ So, Bernadette, what has this year taught you?”

 

Well in summary 2014 for me was a case of repeating  what I have done in the past, and realising that the sign of madness is doing the same things over again, but expecting different results!  That is one lesson learnt.

The second lesson, which I have learnt is that the answers always lie within YOU and no one else.

I will explain.

I met a man in January 2014, a very nice man , or at least he seemed to be. We dated for six happy months, and what is more, my son even seemed to like him a lot. He asked my son and I to move into his home, and we agreed. So my son and I moved out of the area, to another area, not that far, but far enough from friends and family. I told myself that it would be fun, it would be an adventure. But it was not. I could tell instantly that my son was not happy living there. Thankfully,  I did not change my son’s school  due to the fact that he has Autism, but the journey to and from school was a good deal longer than before. That was one difficulty.

The other was that the man we lived with soon showed us his true colours. He would often make comments and observations about both my son and I, saying that he “was only trying to help”. In short, he tried to control our lives.

I felt as though I had lost my independence and self- belief, as I soon began to question myself and my decisions, where before, I was a very independent and confident woman.

My gut instinct was screaming at me to get out of that house, and away from him during the school Summer  holidays.  But I ignored it:  trying to tell myself that it was just the “settling in” period, and things would soon settle down, and my son and I would be happy there.

Not so.

By October I knew it would never work, but I felt afraid, as the thought of moving house again unsettled me and I worried about my son.

I started to cry a lot, not eat, and I was a nervous wreck. My poor son knew his mum was not happy and tried to console me.

I then started to plead for help from my Angels. And in November, they gave me the strength I needed to say to the man : “ I’m not happy and I’m leaving you”

My son and I are now living in a lovely house  not far from his school and our family and friends, and once more, we are happy.

Last year’s situation was very reminiscent of the short time I lived with a boyfriend when I was in my early twenties, who was evil personified ( not my ex-husband, but, rather, the man before him).

So, I found that I had repeated my past by living with someone unsuitable, trying to tell myself it would work, when my inner knowledge and wisdom was telling me otherwise.

I have learned to listen carefully to my inner wisdom now, and now I feel stronger and happier than before.

As soon as your inner wisdom screams at you that a situation, person or whatever else in your life is not right for you, make it your New Year’s Resolution to listen to it.

So, that is my New Year’s resolution.

“I will listen more carefully and respect my inner wisdom, for it will never lie to me”.

And now, I am going to pour myself a lovely glass of wine …….

Happy 2015!

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