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Loss Of A Loved One

July 27, 2016

Coping After Losing a Loved One

When we lose someone very precious to us, the pain can be excruciating. The night I lost my parents, I felt that I would never be the same. They were my everything, and losing both of them in such a violent way ( my parents were murdered by burglars in my house) made me feel that I would never be whole again. As time passed, I’ve learned that   there is no way to grieve without pain, loss is a time for learning how to draw on our inner emotional reserves and learning how to cope with the pain we feel.

Losing someone make us experience all kinds of difficult emotions and it may feel like sadness will never go away. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but there are healthy ways to cope with the pain which allow us to constructively move forward. The only thing important is for us to understand that grief is a natural response to loss, and work through our loss, slowly but surely. The more significant the loss, the more intense the grief will be.

When we are grieving, finding someone to talk about how we feel is really helpful. Healing from loss is possible when we have the support of other people. Trying to avoid feelings of sadness can quickly deplete our energy and emotional reserves. Being open about it is a form of releasing negative feelings, sharing the emotional pain and understanding our emotions better. Sharing our loss makes the burden of grief easier to carry. We just need to remember to be careful when we choose someone to talk to, because not everyone we speak while we’re grieving will be helpful to us. Try to find an understanding person, maybe someone who already experienced grief himself/herself. When others don’t know how we feel, they will make dismissive comments, and won’t give us any attention. Don’t compare your grieving process with someone else’s. Grieving is a personal and highly individual experience, and how a person grieves depends on many factors, including his/her views of life, personality, life experience, and many other things. For some people, the grieving process takes longer than for others. Be kind and patient with yourself, and allow yourself to experience all the emotions you are having. Healing happens gradually, and sometimes, we stay in shock and disbelief for a long time before we can start to accept the loss, and deal with feelings of emptiness, sadness and loneliness. Keep in mind that is really normal to be emotional unstable in the early stages of grief, and it is normal to feel like you’re going crazy, or you’re in a bad dream, or even question your religious beliefs.

In my personal experience with grieving, I found a lot of comfort in reconnecting to my spiritual side and practicing the spiritual activities that are meaningful to me. Healing was only possible when I allowed myself to practice some spiritual self care, and I took the time to pay attention to my special needs. When we’re grieving, it’s more important than ever to take care of ourselves. Avoid using alcohol or drugs to numb the pain. There are healthy ways to deal with loss, and when I lost my parents, I’ve learned that the body and mind are connected after a long time struggling with overeating. When you feel good physically, you’ll also feel better emotionally. Look after your physical and emotional needs, and remember that this is a big part of the healing process. Writing about your loss, journaling about your feelings, making a scrapbook, or any kind of activity that allows you to express yourself during the grieving process can also help your grieving personal journey. Just take your time, and keep in mind that although you’ll never stop feeling the loss of the loved one, you will be able to learn to live with the memories of that person, and celebrate the fact that this person is still part of your life in the Spiritual World. Remember that your loved one would want you to continue living your life to its fullest, and let the healing process to unfold naturally.

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