Life Goes On written on desert road

Loosing Hope In A Relationship

August 26, 2018

Love is one of the most deep emotions known to human beings. Sometimes, romantic relationships are the most meaningful element in our lives, providing purpose and happiness. Love relationships usually begin in a positive note: early on in our relationships, we are often our most open, excited to try new things and share new adventures, and there are far more positive elements in the relationship than painful ones, but tough times happen to all of us. Failed relationships happen for many reasons, and the failure of a relationship is often a source of great distress. It’s a mixed feeling of loss, fear and unfulfilled dreams. Sometimes, it comes to a point where your partner is physically living in the same space as you, but he/she is distant emotionally. Good communication is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship, and when there is no communication between both of you, there is little hope for the relationship.

When you are not happy in a relationship, you need to examine your expectations to be sure they are in accordance with what you want for your life. If your expectations are unrealistic you need to adjust them. Where your expectations are correct, you need to be safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and analyse if the connection between both of you are strong enough for the relationship to be saved. What is important to understand is that when you are not happy with your partner anymore, and you want to be happy again, you need to get out of your comfort zone in order to change your life and move on, or restore your relationship for good. Sometimes, if you both still love each other, a separation, or spending time apart can be a helpful tool to bring you both together. Most of us believe that when we feel our spouse slipping away from us, we should get as close as we can, but if you have tried various other interventions and tactics to get the relationship back on track, and/or you are confused about whether or not you want to stay in the marriage, a temporary separation can be the answer to strengthen the marriage (if it’s done in the right way for the right reasons) or call it quits, after realising that you are both happier living separate lives.

Sometimes, powerful emotions conspire to keep us in our comfort zone, including fear. When we allow fear to drive our decisions, we start to conform rather than to consider new options to create the life we want. Fear of social judgment discourages us from embracing change and adventure, because sometimes we try to convince ourselves that we will fail, and we are also afraid of being alone.

Relying on someone to make us happy and take care of us, or expecting them to complete us, puts a heavy burden on any relationship. If you feel alone in a marriage, and you are repeatedly bring up an issue, asking your partner for help and making it clear that the marriage will not last unless you both commit to change, but your spouse refuses to solve the problem, your marriage is in trouble. We can’t fix a relationship on our own, because it requires mutual commitment. It is very common as we fall into routine, to stop viewing our partners as the independent and attractive individuals that they are, and care less to resolve relationship conflicts. We need to recognise that there are ups and downs in every relationship, but also connect to our intuition to know what to do when it becomes toxic. Remember to put your happiness first, because change is inevitable in life, and it will happen whether you go with it or fight it.

Seeking spiritual help is the best place to begin if you want to be emotionally strong to change your life: either in order to fix a relationship, or to let it go. Reconnect to your authentic self, be true to your values, prioritise your desires, and do not avoid your feelings. Ask for spiritual guidance and send out positive intentions. Remember that the most important truth to understand is that you must first change your mindset in order to take control of your own happiness. When you truly believe that you are worthy of love, you will never settle for less than you deserve.

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