Learning To Love

June 19, 2015

Are you feeling hindered or afraid to allow yourself to love? As a Tarot Reader I love unveiling cards that reveal our inner motivations, desires and intentions – and what can block them from blooming into healthy outcomes.
This is especially true of love and our ability to accept love that values and respects us. When we withhold love we only hurt ourselves and cut off the potential to experience the giving and receiving of unconditional love God wants for each of us. What a shame!

As children those of us who were lucky enough would run merrily along ready to undertake any adventure and this included loving those around us unconditionally. We can look up to these individuals and not only admire them but we learn about relationships and how we can treat each other through these years.
If you are a child of divorce like myself you might understand intimately how demented that viewpoint can become when we are stuck as children in the midst of adult conflict and chaos.

Abandonment, aggression, passiveness and secrets are just a few of the actions we can witness and behavior we can learn from. All these unpleasant issues get developed through these types of experiences that we can carry forward into our way of communicating and interacting with others as adults. We can become afraid and insecure even to allow ourselves to open our heart for love, never mind a real relationship or we can translate our parent’s behavior as our own possibly driving another away with our actions or allowing them to rule us in an unhealthy manner.

If you have been lucky enough not to have had a childhood that tainted the way you approach love you may have had teenager and adult encounters in love that left you feeling unloved or you were treated badly causing you to feel unsure of your place in relationship.
As we move forward in our life if we do not understand why we are in these style situations it can block our ability to love fully and possibly prevent us from giving our heart over to another again.

When we have been through difficult relationships we can become closed off from giving and receiving love. As a Tarot Reader many of the cards try to show us it does not matter what happened yesterday, today is a new day to experience, this is especially true of love. Even if we have had difficult relations in the past, these experiences were placed in our path so we learn not only what we want out of our relationships but what we do not want and how we can apply this knowledge in the future.

We also need to confront and then overcome built up bad habits that can come from closing ourselves off from love. When we no longer want to deal with finding love we can quickly find ourselves in a daily version of a metaphorical pair of sweat pants because we no longer care enough to care.

And if we let our pride and ego lead us over our heart we can enter a love stalemate here as well. So many of us can stay stuck in the past because our pride is shouting ‘they broke up with me’, even as they were going to leave the relationship as well. It does not matter if we broke up or left a relationship first or the other beat us to a task we knew we should have handled. Focus on the important stuff like what you learned from the overall experience about how you relate in relationship. When we know ourselves intimately and honestly we can see these truths in others which lead us to an inner confidence in our decisions regarding those we want to love.

The Suit of the Cups in Tarot represents our journey through the many different aspects of love. Each encounter is designed to teach us about how we love and how we allow others to love us. We get to evaluate our love situation at each step. Some of the stops along the way can seem difficult because we need to take an honest look at our desires – is this purely sexual attraction – intentions – will it be a healthy a relationship that truly honors you – motivations – what good intentions will you bring to the relationship? These hard looks need to take place so you know how you want to be in relationship and also what style character of person you want this to be with.  What is also so cool, the reward for the solid relationship is achieved through this gained insight because it allows us to open our heart completely to the opportunity of unconditional love.

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