Beautiful woman in frustrated depression sitting on wooden bridge, near the beach on sunset. Concept of unemployed, sadness, depressed and human problems in dark tone.

Learning To Express Negative Feelings

January 4, 2017

The capacity to understand and deal with our emotions is a crucial skill. Many of us have been brought up to ignore and override feelings. If we get used not to give any attention to our emotional side, the result of this kind of suppression is often anxiety, phobias, depression and restlessness. We also tend to feel overwhelmed every now and again, and adopt a negative and pessimistic outlook of life.

When we don’t know how to express negative feelings, it can result in a disconnection in our relationships. Knowing how to express feelings in a healthy way is really important if you want to feel close to people and to sustain your relationships. Feelings are influenced by our thoughts and perceptions. The way you perceive an event or interpret a situation will determine how you feel. Other factors like stress and outside influences can also impact the way you feel and react to situations. If you perceive a person as manipulative or selfish, you will start having negative feelings about this person. You will be inclined to have automatic thoughts and react accordingly the state of mind you created towards this individual.

The most important thing to understand when learning to express your feelings is to realise that you need to know yourself to start with. You should take the time to analise why you feel the way you do, and to consider that there is a chance that your preconceptions may be wrong. Ask yourself: How do I feel about this situation? What do I expect from the other person? What message do I want to pass on to the other person? Communicating your feelings in an assertive way starts with self-awareness. t’s very difficult to understand others when we never try to understand ourselves first. Knowing yourself is a vital step to communicate the way you feel. Give yourself some time and space to get away from others judgment and expectations to focus on knowing yourself and understanding your emotions. Pay attention to your current experience in a non-judgmental way. Allow your body to physically experience your emotions, and find exactly what is bothering you instead of feeling bad without knowing why.

Feelings are energy. If you are in touch with your feelings and you are able to express them, you will feel in touch with yourself and others around you. However, when you are unaware of your feelings, you may feel lethargic and depressed. Suppressed feelings lead to anxiety. When you are experiencing intense emotions, you sometimes lose the ability to accurately see what is motivating those feelings. I think that keeping a journal can help the process of you learning to communicate with yourself. It can help you see the progression of your emotional state over time, as well as offer you possible day-to-day connections between events and feelings. I recently embarked on a journey of self discovery and I got involved with art, photography, and journaling. All these things allowed me to access my emotions directly, and I got better in understanding and expressing my feelings.

Living in harmony is nothing more than being aware of our emotions. Remember that negative intense emotions, as threatening as they may seem, are only temporary. There is no shame in feeling sad or angry in certain circumstances, and denying those emotions only means you’re pushing them deeper inside where they might do more damage, so try to find a way to express them in a healthy way instead of reacting to them. What matters most is for you to express yourself. Getting your thoughts out of your head and talking about them with a trusted friend, or putting them on paper for example, helps to minimise your pain and it allows you to express it, in order to move on. Remember that feelings are contagious. If you spend a lot of time dwelling on negative feelings, you may start to feel sad most of the time. Similarly, you can catch other person’s enthusiasm and excitement, so try to be around positive people. Pay attention to your needs and wants, and you will be able to process your emotions better. When you gain the ability to express your feelings in a confident way and confront negative thoughts, you will feel happier, less insecure and stronger as a person.

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