Implementing Boundaries

October 20, 2019

When we learn how to be in control of our emotional boundaries, we can have a healthy sense of who we are. Boundaries are an extension of love and respect for ourselves, but for many people, the most challenging part of having boundaries in relationships is the fear of appearing rude or selfish. It’s important to recognise that all kinds of healthy relationships have boundaries, and love can’t exist without them. Boundaries in romantic relationships are especially important, because as opposed to other relationships, it involves people sharing the same environment, and having physical and emotional intimacy.

Practicing communicating openly and asserting personal values comes from having a good sense of your own self-worth. This sense of self is vital in order to let others know your needs and desires and avoid overriding them to please others. For some people saying yes to everything is a habit; for others, it’s almost an addiction that makes them feel acceptance. Prioritising yourself is the most important thing to avoid others to be demanding, controlling, pushy, abusive and invasive.

We need to keep in mind that we can decide how close another person gets to us physically and emotionally. Relationship boundaries are a way to protect yourself, giving yourself freedom to conduct your life in a way that helps you flourish. When implementing boundaries in a relationship, you need the have the self knowledge to recognise how you are feeling, then decide if the other person is making you feel overwhelmed or drained. By taking the time to be with your own thoughts, reflect, and analyse your feelings, you are able to consciously make the distinct difference between yourself and the other person. Whether it’s with a business partner, a friend, or in a romantic relationship, the lack of boundaries will make you experience an uncomfortable pattern of negative feelings.

Keep your emotions separate from other people’s emotions, although you empathise with the people you care about. When you establish boundaries, you may find that others are resistant to them at first, but if they respect you, they will be willing to accept them. Give yourself permission to recognise and honour your boundaries, and work on being direct and concise when letting others know your thoughts and feelings.

Relationships become unhealthy when we worry so much about the other person, that we forget to look out for our own needs. If not careful, we act from a place of fear, rather than love. We need to acknowledge the emotions behind our choices, because neglecting them can block us from doing what’s best for ourselves, and damage our relationships. That’s why being assertive about our values gives us the chance to practice self love and release the ego’s fearful perceptions. Practicing self-compassion will help you learn to love and accept yourself, and it will make it easier for you to become stronger in your emotional interactions with others.

Your own health and well-being are important, once you can recognise what it is that is causing you to feel bad in your relationship, you need to take the time to determine what needs to be changed, before you communicate your boundaries to the other person. Remember that when you fail to communicate how you feel, and you want to make someone happy even at the expense of what’s best for you, you are prioritising others and putting yourself last. You also have the right to eliminate toxic people from your life, those who would manipulate and abuse you.

Get grounded within yourself. Take the time to do some breath work, meditation, or to tune in with your body and soul in order to connect to your inner essence and nurture your sense of self worth. This simple technique can stop anxiety or poor self-esteem to prevent you from taking care of yourself. In order to become stronger emotionally, you have to learn about the thoughts that form your perception of yourself and the world. These thoughts are responsible for your emotional responses. Being in control of these thoughts, gives you the choice to determine how you want to feel, and the ability to act on it. Keep in mind that you are not responsible for the way others react to you when you maintain your healthy boundaries, and if they react negatively, it’s their problem. Try to surround yourself with supportive people who respect you and your choices. Remember that adopting an assertive behaviour can help you feel more satisfied and fulfilled. Be true to yourself, communicate your needs and ideas clearly and respectfully, and take responsibility for your own happiness.

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