First Love

June 1, 2016

Our experience with our first love stays in our memory forever. When we fall in love for the first time, it’s our first taste of romance, and it is a moment in our lives that we find ourselves very vulnerable and selflessly than we ever thought we could be, feeling things we never thought we were capable of feeling toward anyone. There is something really powerful about experiencing love for the first time, because it happens when our hearts are still innocent and pure, and that’s why some people say that falling in love as a teenager is more intense than the experience in adulthood.

I remember my first love like it only happened yesterday. Our first love is magical. It’s new and exciting. We get butterflies when this person pops up in our heads, we sweat a little each time we’re on our way to see them. We look into their eyes and we’re in awe, because we never thought we’d feel this way before. It happened to me twenty years ago, in my early teens, and he was my first boyfriend. We had a completely magical time together. He made my heart flutter. He could make me feel like I was the happiest person in the world. I would find myself staring at him for hours on end, thinking about how this beautiful young man loved me. We discovered sex and many other things together. He expressed his feelings in almost daily love letters, and I was sure it would last forever. We dated for many years ( 9 years in total) and I even got engaged to my first love, but as time went by, we discovered that the wonderful feelings from the beginning of the relationship starts to deteriorate with time if it is not cared enough, or not given much needed importance. I must admit that I have never felt so much in a relationship since then, and I have never been able to keep my first love completely out of my mind. When it ended, it crushed my confidence, I felt absolute despair that I wouldn’t find love again afterwards. That’s when I decided that I needed a brand new beginning, and I ended up moving to a new country, mostly because of my heartbreak. I’ve learned that love does happen again, I did fall in love and got married afterwards, and even though now I’m separated, I am very grateful for the experiences I had, and the lessons I’ve learned.

I really don’t wish that things had turned out differently between myself and my first love. I will admit that overcoming my first heartbreak was a painful road, but I having that intimacy as a teenager, taught me about my own identity, I’ve learned a lot about myself, simply through becoming close to someone else. I experienced being open and trusting another person, and it contributed to my maturity. I discovered new emotional feelings, new physical desires, and emotional reactions. Looking back, I can clearly see that when we are young and impressionable, it’s hard to realise that something happens to teach us a valuable lesson in life. Sometimes, when we fall in love for the first time, we get carried away by those strong feelings and don’t realise that we are subjecting ourselves to things that we wouldn’t allow ourselves to experience later in life. Some things we used to put up with when we were younger and with our first love, we learn not to put up with anymore. My relationships in life made me understand that I am the center of my life. When somebody else is becoming your life’s center, something is wrong for sure. It’s very addictive to forget our problems by immersing ourselves into someone else’s life, to a point that we think that we can’t live without the other person. But, one thing I can tell you for sure: you can, and life will go on.

When I think about my first love, I still smile at remembering the passionate person I used to be, and how strong I felt just because of love. I think that the difference between then and now, is that now I also love myself. When you experience your first heartbreak people will tell you to move on, but it will not be easy. You will be relating songs, movies, weddings to your first love. You will see his/her face in strangers passing by you. It can be very difficult, but it is something you need to deal with all by yourself. Don’t worry, you will feel sad and miserable until one day you get up and decide that enough is enough, and move on. However short-lived it might turn out to be, an experience of passionate love can quickly become the most important thing in a young person’s life. Just remember that you are your best friend, everyone will leave you at some point in life, but you will be there for yourself always.

Our first love can teach us the most important things in life. It can show us how we want to be treated, and how we should be treated. In order to be successful in loving another person, you need to be successful at loving yourself first. If you are experiencing love for the first time, and you want to win the love of the other person, you should continuously remind yourself to love and respect yourself, so the other person will do the same. You can only be happy in a relationship if you don’t change your priorities and compromise your values for anyone. A first love shows us that a lasting relationship requires work and effort from both parties. It is a real example that there is nothing wrong with experiencing deep emotions, and giving your all to a relationship, even if it doesn’t work out in the end. The faster we forgive ourselves and heal, the faster we will be able to move on and love again.

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