When a relationship does not meet your needs anymore, fears of separation and loneliness can unconsciously keep you trapped inside it. It may be very hard to come to terms with the realisation that sometimes, in order to be happy, you have no choice but to leave a relationship behind. The truth is that we all know when a relationship is not fulfilling our needs anymore, we know that staying in the relationship is holding us back, but sometimes, even when we find ourselves at breaking point, we cannot seem to let go.
It’s natural to have fears about starting a new chapter in life, but what we need to keep in mind is that letting this fear stop us from going after our dreams is a real tragedy. We need to find the courage to understand what keeps us away from our happiness. When we allow ourselves to confront our inner dragons, we are also able to view/understand aspects of our soul that sabotage our lives. The reality is that our deepest fears are like dragons guarding our deepest treasure, if not confronted, they’ll end up controlling us.
Once you face your fears and begin to actively pursue your dreams, you will realise things are not as scary as you originally thought.
It’s very difficult to find inner peace when we keep attempting to escape from what we are not wanting to face. I believe that letting go of a relationship is about being able to overcome this fear of not being good enough, this fear of failure and rejection, and finding the confidence to fight your own dragons in order to put yourself out there in the world. You can only free yourself from your fears when you learn to trust yourself again, when you have enough faith in yourself to be able to move on from someone who does not value you enough.
Look beyond your fear to the benefits of overcoming it, and you can change your focus completely. As long as you are focusing on the emotional negative aspects of your situation, you are actually feeding that fearful feeling. When you make a decision to prioritise yourself, the benefits of overcoming what is holding you back removes much of the emotional energy feeding them. Do what is best for yourself and focus on you, so you can start looking forward to your future and stop camping in the past.
Positive thinking is vital to control your ego that may be telling you things like you are too old to find love again, or you are not going to be able to function without your relationship. Having a positive outlook is a choice. You can choose to think thoughts that are filled with possibilities and solutions instead of worries and obstacles. Choose to focus on the excitement of a new beginning and fresh start. Think about what your life would be like if you overcame your fear of letting go, and approach it as an opportunity to grow. You can change your emotional viewpoint by thinking what kind of new opportunities would be available to you if you start taking responsibility for your happiness.
Consider what you need to do to honour yourself and reconnect to your inner essence again. The more you lie to yourself, the more you disconnect from yourself. You could stay unhappy for a long time just longing for the relationship that you wish it could be, and trying to love a person you wish your partner were. Your imagination can be your worst enemy if you allow fear, worry, and doubt to dominate and define your life, but it could also be your best friend if you decide to adopt a positive outlook. The moment you surrender to life and let go, is the moment you become free to be who you are.
Letting go does not have to mean the end of the world, simply because it isn’t. Forgive yourself, forgive the situation and accept the way you feel in order to move forward. It may be hard not to look at letting go as a painful event, because you’ve invested time and effort into someone, but it is possible to choose to look at it as part of the growth process. Learning how to let someone go is one of the greatest lessons we all need to learn, because it is all about rediscovering our passion and identity. When we get stuck in relationships that no longer work, we keep lying to ourselves.
Don’t compromise your own happiness. Sacrificing your needs, your interests and your dreams to stay in a relationship is a very high price for anybody to pay. Face your dragons and start to feel more in tune with who you are. Remember that the secret of happiness is freedom, and the secret of freedom is courage.