Is fear is stopping you from doing what it takes to love? If the answer is yes, you have to make the choice to stop fear from holding you back. Understand that love opens the door for joy, passion and peace, but it also makes you more susceptible to pain and loss. Falling in love can remind you of previous hurts. It can awaken you to existential realities. Remember that is important to live the present moment when making a choice, because fear only exists when you contemplate the future.
It’s a known fact that we can’t selectively numb our feelings. When you try to avoid pain, you may be also be preventing joy and love to enter your life. If fear is stopping you from trusting someone, forgiving someone, allowing yourself to be vulnerable, or even beginning a new relationship, you need to put things into context and realise that fear may be sabotaging your life. Listen to your intuition. When making simple, everyday choices, it pays to be rational. But when it comes to bigger decisions, you’re better off listening to your instincts. Don’t let your imagination destroy your future. It is in your power to decide who you want to be in your relationship and to act in accordance with that, no matter what life has been throwing at you.
Try to look at your past in order to understand how the choices you made in the past led you to be in your current situation. Along my journey I’ve found anyone who found peace in the romantic department has gained it through experience, not knowledge, so don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone and experience things for yourself. Identify the stumbling blocks in your past relationships. The more experience you have with a particular type of decision, the safer it is to go with your intuition, since your subconscious has a lot of information that you can use. Consider where did your relationship go wrong, and what issues kept coming up in the past. If you feel that you’ve been pushing love away, think about what thoughts are inspiring your actions. Are they negative thoughts rooted in fear? What are you telling yourself in order not to take action? Decision making is intrinsically linked to your emotions. Every choice you make represents a battle between your rational conscious and emotional subconscious mind, and the key to good decision making is letting your intuition guide you.
You have the choice to avoid risk, and stay in your comfort zone because of fear of failure or consequence, but if this decision means continuing to live your life according to others expectations, you will be only adopting a safe path to avoid the things you may be destined to experience. Happiness demands risk, survival, and surrender sometimes. All of your life experiences, including your mistakes helps you to become who you are.
You may be afraid of making a decision because you’re trying to find the perfect answer, and the reality is there is no perfect answer. The truth is that love is an ever-changing force. In a matter of seconds, you can feel anger, irritation or even hate for a person you love. So, worrying over how you will feel in the future keeps you from seeing where your feelings would naturally go. Always remember that how good you feel about your decision is more important than how good your decision is, objectively. Allowing worry or guilt to hold you back, keeps you from getting to know the outcome of something that could make you happy. The more you have, the more you have to lose, and the more someone means to you, the more afraid you will be of losing this person.