Ouch! Being in any style relationship that has aggression in its mix is harmful to you and those who love you! Let me help you find the hope and strength you need to move out of your current situation and towards the real life God has been readying for you!
It can be very hard to have any kind of hope when feeling trapped in an aggressive situation. Mean people stink and no one other than other mean people like them! Recognize that by thinking differently and understanding this is not a situation that is healthy nor should be tolerated puts you one step closer towards a goal of freedom! And pat yourself on the back for wanting to let kindness lead you instead of aggression. If you have children, be the role model of strength of heart and character to move towards a new life for you all Cruelty should not be an ingredient in anyone s life but especially for children who learn from us what it is like and how to act in relationship.
This all starts with you! Please understand you deserve the best and do not have to stay in your current situation. Not for the other person, not for the kids, not for your family – You do this for the value and respect you place on yourself. Remember those self-esteem rights? Start to apply love of self with every thought throughout your day. Work hard to combat feelings of negativity towards self. Ask God for help. When we open our hearts to God’s love for us, we can find comfort and courage. Without this love which leads directly to kindness and gentleness of spirit our lives would be frightening and lacking of hope.
Through this love we can learn to listen to our hearts and be open to the new possibilities God is trying to help us realize. That it is why it is important to focus on what is truly – and that is the key word: truly – best for you. By reconnecting with your confidence within – you will be making your choices with a balanced head and heart. How exciting!
When we strive for mastery over self we can also overcome our own raw instinct and animal drives which uncontrolled can cause great harm. We learn, beast-like behavior such as rage and anger are useless energies and need to be subdued. The diplomacy and removal of emotion offered through this approach can come in handy because strategy and cunning may need to be applied to execute your plans.
We can fear a conflict and at times our avoidance of conflict only prolongs the final outcome for the very things we need to change. I wonder if you are thinking you will be upsetting the apple cart in following your heart. Or you are emotionally upset or staying in a stagnant situation while craving change. Maybe past choices in love have been holding you back and possibly making you feel further overwhelmed. All these what-ifs are only mental blocks to achieving what we really desire. We just need to be honest enough with ourselves.
We also may have played a role in delaying our next moves because we did not want to look at people and situations as they truly are for fear of hurting another or ourselves. If you have been dealing or need to remove such an individual may I suggests being innovative. Instead of focusing on the emotional reaction that could occur, find the solution that allows you to move forward but one that gives the space for the other person to walk away with a sense of dignity to allow the change to happen. Regardless of the list of confrontations that could occur, there are ways to deliver news that get the results you want, while allowing another to walk away with a head held high – as long as they walk away!
Your time will be well spent not looking at the past with regrets or a view of failure. That is yesterday’s new. Today a new day is dawning, one in which you are the one empowered in mind, heart and spirit to not only hope but execute great change in your life for the better!
I believe you can do it, God believes you can do it – How about you?