Alone At Christmas

December 22, 2016

Relationship breakups, family issues, and bereavement can turn our holidays miserable. When the year comes to an end, and we reflect on our lives, we can feel frustrated and disappointed. Christmas is traditionally a happy time for families and getting together with friends, but when we are missing our loved ones, the season can magnify sorrow. There’s an expectation of feeling happy and generous during Christmas, but if you have lost a loved one, an empty chair at the table can be a painful reminder for you. If you feel lonely, Christmas is a time that bring back memories of happier times.

For some people is very difficult to feel happy during the holidays. There is a pressure to conform to a social ideal presented by the media: buying, spending, eating, drinking, dressing up, getting on and interacting in a small space with others. If your Christmas isn’t going to be a traditional family affair, you may feel sad and inadequate. It can be hard to find the motivation to celebrate Christmas if you don’t have a crowd coming around for a turkey roast, and a few rounds of a favourite board game.

Christmas tended to be a lonely time for me years ago, when I lost my parents. There was something about the season that just made me feel really sad. The twinkle lights and cozy sweaters brought out the nostalgia, and loneliness was an unwelcome companion. I believe that every Christmas brings up the memories of all our previous Christmases and that’s why sometimes is hard for many of us to avoid negative feelings during this time of year. We may look back and we see that our lives changed a lot. If you are experiencing loneliness at Christmas, it is important to know that you are not alone. There are many people out there that can relate to you.

Remember that looking after your emotional wellness helps you to cope with loneliness. When we feel emotionally balanced, we are able to be more spirituality connected, and focus on the meaning of the season: Jesus Christ. Rather than waiting for other people or circumstances to make you feel good, find a way to understand your emotions and direct your mind to be more positive. Recognise your ability to adjust to changes in your life, and remember to ask God for inner peace that comes with trust and faith in HIM.

If Christmas tends to bring out the loneliness in your own life, here are a few things that can help you to deal with the challenges of the Christmas season:

-Don’t compare yourself or your life with other people’s lives. Learn to respond to negative self-talk with a kinder, positive affirming message. When negative thoughts about being lonely shows up, challenge them with positive affirmations and remind yourself that Christmas is a celebration of love and hope to the humanity, it is a promise of better times for the future;
-Try to find things that make you smile and laugh. Think about things you can do to cheer yourself up;
-Trust God and focus on the truth of who you are rather than allowing your mind to shift your perspective on what is missing in your life;
-Remember that it is okay to take some time to process your feelings, but make sure that you don’t go overboard.

When you feel lonely, your relationship with God can unleash gifts you could never have predicted you’d have. When you have a strong connection with the Divine, you are able to face lonely feelings with courage and appreciate what God is doing in your life. No matter how lonely you may feel, God is always with you.


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